Introducing the Little Monster

Today is my sixth birthday. I have decided to mark the occasion by starting my own blog. After living a life of leisure and enjoyment for six long years, I believe that it is time I started to give something back. I hope that cats and kittens everywhere will benefit from my musings on life and the art of managing your humans.

Let me introduce myself. I am a tuxedo boy-kitty, and my name is Ashley. My human named me after a character in Gone With the Wind. It has taken me a few years, but I have finally forgiven her for this. Yes, it has caused me repeated embarrassment to be referred to as "she" by every human who hears my name for the first time. But, as I have grown older and wiser, I have come to realize that unlike us cats, humans make mistakes. As the superior species, we have to show understanding and tolerance towards the more disadvantaged humans. So I have forgiven my human for saddling me with a girl's name.

Of course, I have always refused to answer to the name of Ashley. Instead, I have trained my human to call me by other names, more suitable to my feline dignity. Mostly I answer to Kotyo, which means "boy kitty" in my human's native language. I am also referred to as Cujo or Beastie, as well as "the Little Monster". This last name is closest to how I see myself, so this is how I will sign my blog posts. Although even with this name, my human showed her cluelessness. Little Monster? Little? I ask you, do I look little to you?

Sigh... Humans! No matter how well you train them, they always manage to get things wrong.

As I said before, today is my birthday. In celebration of the event, my human is serving me a gourmet dinner. In addition to my usual serving of duck, I get a nice tasty fish, and for dessert, my absolute favourite: cucumber peels. My human tells me that in her experience, I am unique in my love of the crunchy, juicy, wonderfully refreshing green strips of cucumber peel. Of course, she also says that my obsession with cucumber peels shows that I must have been a rabbit in a previous life... And then she wonders why I sometimes scratch or bite her "for no apparent reason". As I said before - humans! They always put their foot in their mouth, but what would we cats do without them? Someone has to be there to use the can opener and to clean the litter box...

Well, that's enough of an introduction for now. I smell fish... time for my birthday dinner!